Back to School

Alright kids, it’s back to campus, and you know what
that means. It’s time to fumble our way out of our halcyon
days and try to harrow our way through the dangers of
another school year. The greatest threat is, of course, the
weather.
We will live the next month in fear; each morning we
will wake up to the overcast sky and think- “This is it- I
have seen the sun for the last time.” Every sunset will break
our hearts a little bit as we sit there in the twilight, wonder-
ing whether it’ll be back the next day or whether we’ll have
to wait six miserable months.
There is only one answer, my friends. It is time that we
break up with the sun. We all know that this relationship is
abusive- a good two thirds of the year it treats us like shit,
while we still spend that time talking about how much we
miss it, how good times used to be, blaming all our prob-
lems on its absence. We need to admit to ourselves that this
is an unhealthy relationship and try to get over it.
So we have to get by on our own. But its hard- we’re
used to the light that the sun brought into our lives, to the
warmth- we don’t want to give that up. We just have to
admit that we can’t get that from the sun this year, and look
elsewhere.
So let’s date. It’s a forgotten art, I know, but it may be
our best choice. It will give some excitement to last through
the winter. Don’t be shy about going out and asking the
cute girl in the Mac lab to go on a ferry ride, or convincing
that guy studying at Maggie’s to break into the Japanese
Gardens with you after hours. Buck up, take the chance,
kiss the girl- it’s going to get lonely around here without the
sun, and we need to move on.